


A Meal For More Than One

by rvverperson



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/F, Jade Week, listen they are cute ok, the cat/dog dynamic is strong with these two, underrated ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 03:40:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21570208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rvverperson/pseuds/rvverperson
Summary: Jade Harley prepares dinner, but gets sidetracked when she has an uninvited guest.
Relationships: Jade Harley/Nepeta Leijon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	A Meal For More Than One

Flashes of light followed by smoke could be seen coming from the home of Jade Harley. Jade was in her kitchen cooking up a storm the only way she knew how, irradiating the shit out of her food. She set out a baking pan with some salmon and herbs and the like, preparing everything she needed for a lovely meal. As she turns around to set her oven to the custom setting of IRRADIATE, there is a rustling from around the corner. Jade spins on her heels to face the mysterious noise.

JADE: whos there!  
JADE: ill have you know im an incredibly powerful doggy girl!

Only silence… 

Cautiously, Jade readies herself to attack as she slowly steps over to the corner only to find… nothing?

JADE: is this some kind of prank!  
JADE: june is this you! you know ill have to get you back for this!

Jade starts to investigate further when the glow of radiation and beep from the oven gets her attention that its been preheated. She walks back into the kitchen only to find that there is a bite taken out of her fish, and in its place is a dead mouse. This isn’t the first time this has happened, and Jade knows just who the culprit is. She zaps her phone into her hand and opens Pesterchum.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG]  began pestering arsenicCatnip  [AC] \--

GG: bark!  
GG: it was YOU wasnt it!!  
AC: :?? < *nepeta tilts her head confursed*  
AC: :?? < *she says she has no idea what the scary dog is talking about :((*  
GG: oh you know EXACTLY what im talking about!!!!  
GG: i bet youre in my house right now arent you!!  
AC: :33 < *n-nepeta says she is most defurently at her own home at the moment!*  
GG: oh yeah?  
GG: then you wont mind if i go ahead with what i was doing then

Jade sets her phone down and announces loudly to the supposedly empty home,

JADE: man i sure cant wait to put this FISH IN THE OVEN AND IRRADIATE IT BEYOND BELIEF!!!

A small gasp that is immediately cut off comes out from behind the nearby couch. Jade smiles.

AC: :OO < WAIT!!!  
AC: :33 < i mean  
AC: :?? < why dont you paws for a second and we talk  
GG: ok then hmm what should we talk about  
GG: oh i know!!  
GG: lets talk about how you broke into my house and ATE MY DINNER  
AC: :33 < *nepeta says you cant purrove that*  
AC: :33 < *she stands up and points at jade*  
AC: :33 < *she says jade cant just make random accusations at anyone she wants!*  
AC: >:OO < *nepeta says jade needs PURROOF!!*  
GG: proof you say?  
GG: im looking down at all the proof i need

Nepeta looks up to see Jade standing right above her with an menacing grin. Nepeta yelps and tries to run for it, but Jade zaps her back in front of her and grabs her by the shirt collar.

JADE: grrrr  
JADE: ive finally caught you!!!  
JADE: what do you have to say for yourself!!!  
NEPETA: :xx < ...   
JADE: come on say something!!!  
JADE: who do you think you are just SNEAKING INTO MY HOME  
JADE: grrrr you make me so angry!!!  
NEPETA: :33 < it was a very yummy fish  
NEPETA: :33 < it was much better raw than whatefur you were going to do to it  
NEPETA: :33 < i cant believe you were about to do that  
NEPETA: :33 < what a horrible way to cook  
JADE: that fish would have turned out excellent ill have you know!  
JADE: ive been cooking like this for years! what would you know about cooking you, feral beast!  
NEPETA: :!! < says the girl thats fused with a stupid bark beast  
NEPETA: :!! < the worst of all beasts  
JADE: how DARE you!!

Jade is completely furious at Nepeta. This isn’t the first time this has happened. Nepeta has broken into Jade’s home countless times, stealing her food and leaving “gifts” in place of it. Jade didn’t even know how she was getting in, she made sure her home had an intensive security system. Nothing should have been able to get in or out without her knowing, yet here Nepeta was.  
Nepeta knew she was getting on Jade’s nerves and that was exactly what she wanted. Jade looked like she was about to snap, a green electric aura slowly began crackling around her. She just needed something to push her over the edge, and Nepeta knew exactly what to do.

NEPETA: :33 < bark bark look at me  
NEPETA: :33 < im a silly bark beast  
NEPETA: :33 < *nepeta runs around in a circle chasing her own tail befur falling over dizzily*  
NEPETA: :33 < *she s33s a tr33 critter and runs after it fur no reason other than she is a dumb bark beast*  
JADE: GRRR BARK!

Jade’s hold on Nepeta tightens as her rage intensifies. The aura has surrounded her completely and some light objects begin to float into the air. Nepeta gives a cheeky smile, but starts to feel nervous when she looks into Jade’s eyes and sees a swirling green vortex of energy.  
Nepeta wraps her arms around Jade in more of a crush than a hug. Her brute strength squeezes almost all the air out of Jade and she’s knocked back. Nepeta takes quick advantage of this to reverse the roles. She picks up Jade by the collar the same way she did to her. Jade’s powers flicker off at this quick turn of the tables.  
Nepeta brings Jade into a furious kiss, holding on to her tightly. Jade kisses back with just as much intensity. With each kiss there is more rage and passion than the last. The two spend the rest of the night like this, with the only breaks being to argue further which animal is superior. They both hate every second of it, but wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

**Author's Note:**

> this was just something cute i wrote for Ship Day of jadeweek on tumblr! i was thinkin about which jade ships i liked and realized that black jadenep is a fucking Fantastic ship because of the cat/dog dynamic. i hope yall enojyed!


End file.
